How Do Mail Order Brides Work In 2023?
The mail order bride industry may seem to be the industry of myths and mysteries. Some say mail order wives are gold diggers and others claim they know the success stories of happy marriages with mail order brides. So where’s the truth? Is it somewhere in between? Yes and no. Just keep reading, and you’ll find out how this system really works these days.
3 Best Mail Order Bride & Dating Sites
Who are mail order brides?
Here’s the main thing you should know about mail order brides—the very concept of this term is constantly changing. It has a pretty long history, which, however, can still be divided into a few main stages.
At the very beginning, in the 16-17th centuries, mail order brides were women who immigrated to another country without even talking to their husbands. They just knew that in American settlements there were not enough women and agreed to get married and get compensated with tobacco land and money from their husbands. These were predominantly European brides, but soon, the time of Asian women came.
A few decades later, the industry had evolved but not how we see it now. Men tried to actually get to know their mail order brides better, but they still chose them from catalogs and could almost literally order them from Asia, usually from the Philippines or Thailand. Though they were not complete strangers, it’s still hard to say that they knew the people they were going to start families with. A few decades later, men started to search for foreign women from other regions, namely Europe and Latin America, and used online mail order bride services instead of exchanging letters.
Now, the mail order bride industry has evolved. Today, mail order brides are women who aren’t financially compensated or motivated to get married to get a visa and immigrate—they are foreign singles who for some reason believe that they can find a better match abroad, want to find a decent partner, and are ready to immigrate only if they meet him.
They join dating sites and mail order bride sites, which have evolved too, and now offer much better and diverse features for communication that help build an emotional connection online. Such changes, both in technical aspects and goals of mail order brides improved the success rate and made marriages last much longer and couples happier than at all previous stages of the history of mail order wives.
Why do women become mail order brides?
So, modern mail order brides don’t get land or financial compensation for getting married to a foreigner. If so, what is their motivation? Usually, it’s the combination of different social, cultural, personal, and political reasons, and they vary from region to region and from country to country. We’ll mention some of the most common ones for Asia, Latin America, and Europe below.
Asian women remain some of the most popular women on mail order brides websites. Yearly, tens of thousands of single women from Asia immigrate to get married, and the reasons for such a decision may vary. For example, in the Philippines, intermarriage has remained common for centuries. There, as well as in China, Vietnam, and Thailand, foreigners are often considered to be better spouses and even just exotic and more attractive men overall (which is explained by some local peculiarities and the impact of western cultures). Local problems, including social and economic problems, often become secondary factors that make foreign brides consider the idea of marrying a decent man from another country and raising children in a safer and more stable environment.
Central & Eastern Europe
There’s a big difference between the motivations of women in Central and Eastern Europe. In Central Europe, dating a foreigner isn’t considered prestigious, but local women still often search for a husband abroad because they like the culture in a specific country, fail to find a decent partner, turn 35+, and want to start a family with someone who’s ready to settle down, too. In Eastern Europe, mail order marriages are more common because many local ladies see a relationship with a foreigner as a win-win. They can find an educated, successful, reliable man who can fulfill their desire for modernity but will still appreciate their beauty, level of education, intelligence, and family-mindedness, which is often taken for granted by Eastern European men.
Marriages between Latin mail order brides and foreigners, especially American men are pretty common, too. Local mail order brides choose such a path for different reasons, including the impact of machismo country, family-mindedness, failure to find a decent man by a certain age, and desire to have children and settle down. But the inability to find a man with similar goals, social, economic difficulties, or high violence and crime rates are the main factors for many women. The situation is different from country to country, for example, it’s hard to compare the motivation of an Argentinian woman with a woman from Venezuela, but you can meet mail order brides from both countries on top international dating sites.
How does the mail order bride system work?
Now, it’s time to answer the most important question. How do mail order brides work? We explain the process step by step below:
- Choosing the region and/or a specific country where you’d like to meet mail order brides. Yes, some research is needed, but that’s the only way to find the right woman who’ll have everything a man is looking for in a future wife.
- Joining one of the niche mail order bride sites or international websites for dating. Once you choose the location, you are able to choose a website that accepts mail order brides or girls for dating from this particular place. Note that it’s one of the most important stages—the efficiency and reputability of the site largely determine the success.
- Communication and search for the best matches. Once a user joins the platform and completes the profile, they’re able to contact others. At this stage, a man should focus on his specific priorities instead of contacting random mail order brides on the site—that will just speed up the process and will help cut costs. Also, there’ll be many communication tools to use, from video chat to virtual and real gift delivery, so if you want to have the best experience at a reasonable cost, you’ll need to develop your own dating strategy.
- Long-distance relationship stage. Usually, a man who joins a mail order bride platform finds his perfect match within a few months. When it happens, a new couple usually spends a few months on the site building an emotional connection and then starts planning a date in real life.
- Meeting in real life. You can meet a mail order bride online, but you won’t be able to marry her if you’ve never met her in real life, so an offline date is actually a must.
That’s the most common scheme that works for all men looking for mail order brides. You only need to make the right decisions at every stage and focus on your own priorities rather than on anything else.
How to get a mail order bride?
Basically, there are 3 main ways to meet mail order brides, i.e. single foreign women who wouldn’t mind dating and then marrying a foreigner. Each has its pros and cons, and we’ll talk about them in more detail below.
Mail order bride sites & dating sites for marriage (1-3)
Of course, the chance of finding a foreign bride is higher if you use a mail order bride service. Mail order bride sites connect men who are ready to settle down and women seeking nothing but marriage with a foreign man. Such platforms will hardly connect you with “free mail order brides” since they aren’t cheap, but the chances of success are really high not only because of the right dating pool but also due to the availability of advanced communication features. Here are some good examples of the best dating sites for marriage.
International dating sites (4-6)
There are regional websites with foreign brides searching for a perfect foreign match created for Asian, Latin, or European women and foreign men only. They don’t provide mail order brides services but dating services—there may be members with different relationship goals, but most are still interested in serious relationships, and some great communication tools are available, too.
Here are the best international dating sites that aren’t mail order bride websites but work equally well for most singles.
Trip to the destination country
Of course, there’s also at least one alternative way to meet singles from a particular country, and it’s a trip or immigration to a certain country. This option may work for those who have always considered immigration or a long stay in the country they like. For example, if you really like Thai culture, think that living there will be less expensive, and have a remote job, it might be a pretty good decision. However, most men still prefer to search for a good mail order bride site as it’s a less stressful, more convenient, and much cheaper option.
If you’re still considering a trip to one of the top mail order bride countries, take a look at the best places to visit to find a wife.
Do mail order brides work? Yes, but the system doesn’t work like most people think it does. Mail order marriages aren’t arranged marriages or marriages where one spouse is financially compensated by another one—it’s more like regular online dating, and two singles really build an authentic romantic relationship. The only difference is they’re both intentionally searching for intercultural relationships, are ready to settle down, start a family, and live in a husband’s country.
Yes, they do, but this is a new type of marriage. Mail order brides don’t marry strangers anymore. In fact, foreign women and men just meet online and start an authentic romantic relationship, meet in real life, date, and then get married. No one is compensated for dating, so it’s pretty much just a cross-cultural marriage, no more and no less.
There is no one right answer to this question. Every man who considers finding a mail order wife should choose the region or the country based on his own priorities and expectations about a woman and a relationship at large. Asia, Latin America, and Eastern Europe are considered to be the best regions to find mail order wives, so we recommend learning more about the top countries, local mentalities, and traditions and then making a choice.
You can’t mail order a bride online and you can’t marry someone you’ve never met. But you can use the mail order bride services to meet women seeking relationships with foreign men, start dating a mail order bride, meet her in real life, help her apply for a visa to your country, and then marry her, and it will be perfectly legal.